Frustration is probably my biggest demon in fighting. I can deal with the bruises and sore body. I can deal with the super duke on the other side of the eric glaring at me menacingly. I can deal with a 400-pound man barreling down on me in a war scenario. I can deal with the fatigue and exhaustion after a long day of fighting. But what gets me every time is the frustration. The frustration of “Why have I been blocking every shot with my elbow tonight,” or “Why can’t I throw that wrap correctly, even though I have thrown it a million times.”
At a recent practice, I had just come off a 3 month fighting break due to a moderate back sprain. My offense was pretty decent, but my defense decided to make a run for the border. During several sets with several fighters, I blocked my head with my elbow and gotten hit there about 8 times.
My first thought was that I should throw down my armor and go off somewhere and laugh (laughing is my substitute for crying), while rubbing my elbow vigorously. But I quickly realized that that path is self defeating and it would keep me from fighting the rest of the night, and all my fighter friends would be wondering what the hell was wrong with me.
So I did what I usually do when frustrated, I went for a water break. During my water break, I mentally analyzed my patterns and tried to figure out why I was doing the not-very-intelligent elbow block. When I couldn’t figure it out for myself, I enlisted the help of one of the Knights at the practice. He pointed out that I was paying way too much attention to my offense and perhaps should take a more defensive stance for the rest of the evening. I agreed whole heartily, put my armor back on, went out to the field and the first shot thrown at me I blocked with my elbow. Luckily, I had asked the Knight to watch my fight and give me some advice. He took me aside and proceeded to fight with me single sword, so that I would get in the mindset of sword blocking in front of my body. Then he sent me back out into the main practice, telling me to concentrate on fighting single sword, even if I did have a shield in my offhand. It worked, I no longer blocked with my elbow that night, and I proceeded to have a good time fighting for the rest of the evening.
So you’re probably wondering what my little story has to do with the topic of frustration and how it can apply to you. Here are my suggestions on how to deal with frustration. Please note this is how I deal with frustration - it will not work for everyone, but hopefully you can find a bit of information to help with your case of frustration.
Take A Break
If you can’t get that shot to throw, or you keep getting your thigh turned into meatloaf, sit down and take a breather. It is important to clear your mind of the initial hysteria that accompanies the bout of frustration. Relax yourself and once you feel calm again move onto the next step.
Analyze What Happened
If your case stems from an inability to do something or make your body do something, really think about the mechanics and the technique that are required to perform the action. If you are physically too exhausted to perform the task, move onto another shot, or different block. If your case stems from another person try and figure out what is going on. Watch them fight with others to see how they move, how they fight and try to come up with a game plan to fight them.
Ask For Help
No matter the practice, there will be someone who can give you advice, whether it be a Knight, or any random fighter. Some of the best teachers I have had in form and technique have not been knights. See if they can help you to decipher the root of your frustration. You will be amazed how many people will want to help you become a better fighter. Some of the advice will work and some won’t work; always remember to take advice with a grain of salt and find what works for you.
Try Again
Once you’ve calmed down and analyzed and figured out what was going on, try it again. Go fight that fighter you’ve been having problems with. But before the fight talk to them and say “Hey I want to work on my defense, so I can block that evil thigh shot of yours, let me know what you see.” The majority of fighters will do their best to give you accurate feedback.
Know When To Quit
Sometimes you’re just not going to pick it up in an evening. Take a break, get out of armor or fight someone else. I have had plenty of nights when I couldn’t get my body to do what I told it to. Move on, try it again the next practice or event. If something is occurring over a long period of time, figure out a game plan on defeating the problem. If you need to work on your footwork, start doing martial arts crescent steps at work and at home to help solve the problem. And if you’re not sure how to solve the problem, keep talking to people until you do!
It is my personal opinion that frustration is what causes a majority of fighters in the SCA to stop fighting. This is not an easy sport to excel in, it took me a year before I even felt comfortable in my armor. I was by no means a good fighter. Whereas if I were to devote the same amount of time that I had to fighting, but instead focused that energy on bowling, I’d probably be a pretty damn good bowler right now. The best advice I can give is just to stick to it and keep going. You can succeed and you will if you can keep yourself in the game. Good luck!
God, thank you. I especialluy needed that last paragraph. I totally sucked tonight at fighter practice, just when over the weekend I was starting to feel good. it’s always the person I want most to impress whom I do most awful against! (If that makes sense.)
Some great articles here, ok, I’m a guy, though you are dealing with issues that guys need to think about as well, should deal with. I’ve met some huge ego’s (not in the sca mind you) and have been damaged hugely by them over a two year beginner period, to the extent that I cannot fight within their proximity. In the last training session for me, I was so destroyed by negative statements before I got into a bout that I couldn’t even swing the sword. I’ll be leaving soon and in 2008 I’ll be arriving at Arn Hold. So at last I’ll get to train with some people who are considerate. And the frustration of dealing with inflated ego’s will be in the past. Blessings.
Bravo! This is my most difficult obstacle in fighting and also my most difficult to talk about. As easy as it is to become frustrated it’s just as hard to calm down once that anxiety/ bitter anger sets in. Frustration can be a bit of a catch 22 if you aren’t careful. You get frustrated because for some reason or another you just aren’t getting “it”, becuase you become frustated then you become even less focused and even further from accomplishing your goal. This in turn causes you to be even more frustrated, and it’s a vicious cycle that, until you somehow manage to break away, just keeps perpetuating itself… frustrating, isn’t it?